Saturday, August 7, 2010.
One day,
8:32 PM

Angel Atnicaj (pronounced AT-NIC-EGE) flew down from heaven and sat in front of me. He said, "Jacinta, when are you gonna be serious and start studying?"

I said, "Tomorrow?"




I've always said tomorrow. Everything I resolved to do started 'tomorrow', which never started. From "diet plans", studying, to cutting down on instant noodles... saving money.. etcetc. An outrageous range of things that NEVER worked.

I regret it sometimes. Oh, no. Not sometimes. All the time.



Days later, Angel Atnicaj came again. He asked, "Do you regret?"

I did not answer, but I do.


Okay this is hypothetical, and of course "Atnicaj" is my wise clone, as opposed to the usual evil clone. But really.

I regret whenever I shelve it to "tomorrow". Especially POA. I've been telling myself to start studying 'tomorrow'. Do I blame myself? Guess I should.

Now I have no fudging idea how to go about doing POA. I feel hopeless. Or am I? I pity myself. WHY, IN THE WORLD, AM I THROWING THIS LIFE AWAY? Why is that so? Why am I asking questions? Whywhywhywhywhy?


***


Okay yesterday I experienced something awesome. I MUST post this. I don't care if you don't agree, or maybe you'll hate me after that, but I must post this :D It's religious, so if you want to stay neutral and/or whatever, stop reading now.


So yesterday I went to church. There's charismatic service every Friday evening, so my friends asked me if I wanted to go. I said okay. 

As some of you might know, I've been plagued by a back problem. I told my friend about it. 

So, there's this part where they pray over for people who have obstacles/problems in life, and my friend urged me to go. I refused at first, but went on anyway. 

Well they prayed over me and they said I felt heavy and I should let go of everything. Within seconds, I collapsed. (That is unusual, but not rare) I wanted to get up, but my body refused to let me. So I let myself rest. 

Okay the thing is. Today I feel SO MUCH BETTER NOW. Really. It's not hurting me anymore, and I don't feel like an old woman.

Conclusion: Thank you God, you are awesome, and I love you man! 


That is my testimony.