I think I've changed. Maybe it's just a more complicated and challenging level, but deep down, I think I've changed.

I did not study for PSLE. I didn't fear failure.

I'm striving hard to understand the concepts every subject teacher is trying to teach. I fear failure. Hence I cried. That day. 

I told myself, despite that so called "power"* you have, YOU HAVE to overcome that power, by hook or by crook. So I promised myself to get really down-to-earth, and start studying. It's late. 

But no, this level, is more difficult than I actually thought. Because to overcome this level, you have to pay attention to the earlier levels. Which I didn't.

Now I try so very hard to give my all in every subject. 

But the teacher who almost everyone else understood, I didn't. Maybe it was myself to blame. I tried every mean and way I could to understand, but no.

Today, I realised that how lousy I am in HCL. In HCL, the questions they ask in Compre OE is highly philosophical. Yet I cannot comprehend, I always get that lousy score. 

I start to question my capabilities. I feel inferior. But of course no one else knows. 

*I don't know if I really had this power, but it's kinda freaky and I believe that there is. The opposite happens if I hope/want that something hard enough. Hmm.