I had a conflict with my mom again. My money's with her. Oh damn. 

I know. I know I shouldn't be arguing with her. Cause it's only be havoc. Real havoc.

I was late for work today. Woke up at 9 sharp. But it was the time I needed to wake up and go to work. A morning full of rubbish. Tried to inform my mom that I'll be late. She goes to the gym on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. It didn't work. There's a problem with my phone.

Tried using the home phone. I hate my father. He has to switch of the main switch for everything, I'm so irritated. Since I'm using the MIO box, the telephone line is connected to it. If I switch it off, nobody can call my house. Nobody dares to switch it on in his presence. I hate it. Oh man. Waited for the MIO box to set up. Got through. And informed them I'll be there at 10. 

Everything's hell when you're in a rush. It's true. I forgot my EZ-Link card. Went back to get it. Missed a bus for that. Holy crap. Waited a whole freaking 15 minutes for it.

Meanwhile, I've been thinking why I overslept. Know what? It's a nice, rainy morning. I hoped I could sleep all the way up to ten. Oh man. Tried to remember the moment when I woke. I looked at the wall clock. It's fifteen minutes faster. I couldn't think properly. Sometimes, it's no good being myopic. Goodness.

This post sounds so... pessimistic right? Yes. It should be. I've been answering my own questions these few days. Nobody wants to answer my questions.

Right after work, I went home. Slept for awhile, then used the computer. I wanted to watch Forensic Heroes II. My mom asked me to mop the floor. I asked to mop after I finished the episode. I hate it. I HATE IT. It's like, she's always not it the fault. I AM IN THE FAULT. It's unfair! Why is that so? WHY? Nobody is answering my questions. NOBODY. 

She made me mop the floor when I was halfway through. I told her politely that I'd mop it right after the show. She didn't budge. Then she lamented that she had to do the chores when she comes back from work. Then she'd say I'm unfilial. Then in the end, it's my fault. In a fit of anger, I took the mop that was already in the bucket. Without squeezing the excess water. Just to spite her. I'm angry. Then I sarcastically mopped the rooms, and they got really wet. Then she continued lamenting, hollering at me.

Then she finally said this.

"You should've been blind."

My reply?

"You should've just cursed me to go to hell now."

I really felt like jumping off the building. Really. Why should I live with such a person? Who has been holding on to the money I earned for myself? WHY? Isn't it retarded? OhMyGod. Now I want to run off also cannot. I'm dead meat already. I'll have nothing to eat tomorrow. 

FUCK YOU, JACINTA. JUST GO TO HELL. 

Sometimes, I really feel like dying. Just die. Let them feel sad. It's like sweet revenge. You know? Your soul looks at them, crying like there's no tomorrow. Then you think how they've treated you. Then they regret. Awwwww. It feels good.

On the other hand, I regret talking back. 

Sometimes, I really want to shout "Fuck! YOU FUCKING ARSEHOLE" at some random idiot. Then let that person punch me in the face. Maybe it feels better. Profanities sometimes do relieve one's anger. Didn't you know? I hope you did.

Should I die?

Or should I not?

I really felt like giving a slap back to them. Especially my father. I really hate him for being a chauvinistic asshole. Sometimes, MALES ARE REALLY DUMBASSES. They think they're superior. No, they aren't. Sometimes they aren't. And my father always accuses me of doing something I didn't. And sometimes saying I'm rude for no apparent reason.

OH, GOD. WHAT AM I LIVING FOR?

OH, GOD. WHAT AM I LIVING FOR?

OH, GOD. WHAT AM I LIVING FOR?

WHAT AM I LIVING FOR? Them? Why? WHY?

I want to die. Can I? Can I live again after that? 

Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I?

Oh man, this life sucks. How I wish I could just drop dead and sleep forever. And wake up whenever I wish. 

You can say that I'm running away from reality, but that's what I feel. Say what you want.