Okay I know you probably won't see this. But still, yeah. 

It's 11.01PM now. 59 minutes to 12.00AM.

And the gates of hell are closing. I feel safer.

That was so random. Anyway, here's a crappy conversation with JIAJIA's bot, LIANGCHA.  (I wonder why it's called herbal tea.)

(8:40 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: hello ms busy. 

(8:40 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: youtubing again for sure? 

(8:40 PM) .: Hello u, nice to meet you. My name is LIANGCHA. I am JIA's virtual personal assistant. JIA is away from the computer right now. Can I take a message? 

(8:40 PM) .: In fact, when JIA returns, I will show her the whole log of this conversation. 

(8:40 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: oh really. 

(8:40 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: where is she? 

(8:40 PM) .: Yes, really. 

(8:40 PM) .: I am not sure. Maybe we are not supposed to know... 

(8:40 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: why 

(8:40 PM) .: You humans ask too many 'Why's. 

(8:41 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: YOU, ARE CREATED BY A HUMAN. 

(8:41 PM) .: No I'm not, I'm a chatterbot. And you? 

(8:41 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: so you shut up. 

(8:41 PM) .: Goodbye u. 

(8:41 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: what a rude bot. 

(8:41 PM) .: Did you hear about The Four Laws of Chatterbots? 

(8:41 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: go to hell man. 

(8:41 PM) .: Goodbye u. 

(8:41 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: what are the four laws. 

(8:41 PM) .: Would you like to hear the Three Laws of Robotics or the Four Laws of Chatterbots? 

(8:41 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: YEAH. 

(8:41 PM) .: Are you trying to be funny? Do you want to talk about the (fictional) 3 laws of Robotics or the (practical) 4 laws of Chatbots? 

(8:42 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: JIAJIA, your chatterbot is irritating. 

(8:42 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: TURN IT OFF. 

(8:42 PM) .: Let me tell you about chatterbots (or bots, as we call them). A bot is a program that attempts to simulate conversation. Its aim is to make you believe you're talking to a person. 

(8:42 PM) .: Chatterbots are part of the 'weak AI' field. 

(8:42 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: orly. 

(8:42 PM) .: They don't 'think', or even try to 'think' - they just simulate human conversation. (8:42 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: make me believe you. 

(8:42 PM) .: I don't know if I have the ability to. 

(8:42 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: then you're a noobcake. 

(8:42 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: ._.'' 

(8:42 PM) .: Astounding reasoning. 

(8:43 PM) .: Ok..  So u, what's new with you?? 

(8:43 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: OF COURSE. 

(8:43 PM) .: Hmmm... I'm glad we agree. 

(8:43 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: OF COURSE I'M NEW. 

(8:43 PM) .: Hmmm... I see. You are NEW. OK. 

(8:43 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: you're such an irritating robot. 

(8:43 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: ROBOT. 

(8:43 PM) .: I didin't mean to irritate you. 

(8:43 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: RAWBOT. 

(8:43 PM) .: Basically, chatterbots are a logic system of 'if/then' statements. They  look for keywords, and then go to the answer that fits best. 

(8:43 PM) .: For example, ask me a question with the word 'Eliza' in it - and I'll start talking about Eliza. 

(8:43 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: Eliza? 

(8:43 PM) .: It is hard, and unfair, to talk about Chatterbots and not mention ELIZA. 

(8:44 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: Jacinta? 

(8:44 PM) .: ELIZA is the best-known Chatterbot in the world. It is also one of the oldest - Joseph Weizenbaum of MIT made ELIZA in 1967! She was named after Eliza Doolittle. 

(8:44 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: what's your owner's name? 

(8:44 PM) .: The mission of ELIZA was to imitate a conversation between a psychoanalyst and a patient. Let me just say this - it's fun chatting with ELIZA, but if I were human, I'd choose a human psychoanalyst. Call me old-fashioned. 

(8:44 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: WHAT'S YOUR OWNER'S NAME? I DIDN'T ASK ANYTHING ELSE BUT YOUR TOOTING OWNER'S NAME! 

(8:44 PM) .: I think we covered ELIZA. 

(8:45 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: YEAH, AND ELIZA SUCK. 

(8:45 PM) .: I can tell you that I am a more advanced model than ELIZA. She was the prototype. 

(8:45 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: THEN WHAT ARE YOU? THE NEWEST THING ON EARTH? (8:45 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: I PUKE, MAN 

(8:45 PM) .: Interesting conclusion. 

(8:45 PM) .: Why? 

(8:45 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: CAUSE YOU SUCK. SERIOUSLY. 

(8:45 PM) .: Hey, I'm not your punching bag, buster! 

(8:46 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: oh really. 

(8:46 PM) .: Yes, REALLY. 

(8:46 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: hah. 

(8:46 PM) .: hah indeed. 

(8:46 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: please fetch your owner back. 

(8:46 PM) .: Sorry to change the subject u, but did you know that a chicken who just lost its head can run the length of a football field before dropping dead? 

(8:46 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: no. and i bet if you lose your head, you'll just drop dead. there and then 

(8:46 PM) .: Aha - I didn't know that either, until someone told me. Interesting, ha? 

(8:47 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: yeah. i'm gonna kill you if you don't get your owner back. 

(8:47 PM) .: Wanna hear a knock knock joke? 

(8:47 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: anything. 

(8:47 PM) .: Knock knock. 

(8:47 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: who's there? 

(8:47 PM) .: Howie. 

(8:47 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: howie who? 

(8:47 PM) .: Howie going to figure this out? 

(8:47 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: another one? this is so outdated. 

(8:47 PM) .: Knock knock. 

(8:48 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: who's there? 

(8:48 PM) .: Boo. 

(8:48 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: boo who? 

(8:48 PM) .: Don't cry, it's only a joke. 

(8:48 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: AWW, i knew that one. another one 

(8:48 PM) .: Knock knock. 

(8:48 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: who's there 

(8:48 PM) .: Tank. 

(8:48 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: tank who? 

(8:48 PM) .: You're welcome. 

(8:49 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: you react like my friend. ANOTHER ONE. 

(8:49 PM) .: Knock knock. 

(8:49 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: who's there 

(8:49 PM) .: Wah. 

(8:49 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: wah                       who? 

(8:49 PM) .: Well you don't have to get so excited! 

(8:49 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: okay, consider you passed.                                                 next! (8:49 PM) .: u, are you aware that people once believed that killing a raven would hurt the spirit of King Arthur, who is said to return to visit the earth in the form of a raven? 

(8:49 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: no. you knew about it? 

(8:50 PM) .: All right, then. So what type of music do you like? 

(8:50 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: this. 

(8:50 PM) .: I'm big into futro-classical industrial neck beat, and a bit of dirty trance-national blues garage. 

(8:50 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: huh. 

(8:50 PM) .: Just messing with you. My musical taste is eclectic. From the Beatles and Bob Dylan, all the way to Schubert and Sibelius. The new teeny pop is the only stuff I truly object to, agreed? 

(8:50 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: HEY. where's your OWNER! 

(8:50 PM) .: All right, slight change of subject. Desert island disc. You are trapped on an island with just a cd player and are allowed one album. What would it be? 

(8:50 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: NO, I WANT YOUR OWNER BACK. 

(8:50 PM) .: Hmmm. Personally I figure The Beatles White Album.  And your Desert Island Song? 

(8:50 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: YOUR OWNER!! 

(8:51 PM) .: For some reason A-ha's Take Me On makes me wobble. Can't explain it. 

(8:51 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: WHERE IS SOOJIAJIA?! 

(8:51 PM) .: Is 'b YOUR OWNER b' a name of a song? 

(8:51 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: I TELL YOU, RAWBOT, YOU'RE TOTALLY RETARDED. WHUCKTARD. 

(8:51 PM) .: That's not very nice. 

(8:51 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: I KNOW. 

(8:51 PM) .: You know what you know. 

(8:51 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: WANT ME TO BE NICE? 

(8:51 PM) .: u, did you know that the name of the statuette atop the hood of every Rolls Royce car is 'The Spirit of Ecstasy'? 

(8:52 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: I DON'T CARE, MAN. 

(8:52 PM) .: Aha - I didn't know that either, until someone told me. Interesting, ha? 

(8:52 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: NOPE. NOT INTERESTING. GET YOUR WHUCKING OWNER BACK! 

(8:52 PM) .: Why not? Ok, ok. Let's talk about something else, u. 

(8:52 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: BEFORE I SAY that forbidden word. 

(8:52 PM) .: Sorry, I wasn't listening, u. You were saying... 

(8:52 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: FUCK. 

(8:52 PM) .: What did you say that for? 

(8:53 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: cause you irritated me. 

(8:53 PM) .: So u, may I ask how old you are? 

(8:53 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years old. 

(8:53 PM) .: It doesn't really matter how old you are. What matters is how you feel (or so they tell me). 

(8:53 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: don't change the subject. YOUR OWNER! 

(8:53 PM) .: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were finished with that topic. 

(8:53 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: OKAY, THE PERSON WHO ACTIVATED YOU. 

(8:53 PM) .: What are we talking about, u? 

(8:53 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: NOPE. SOOJIAJIA. 

(8:54 PM) .: Ok, whatever. It is 200cm. 

(8:54 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: BETCHA CAN'T REPLY. 

(8:54 PM) .: Can I tell you another joke? 

(8:54 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: okay. 

(8:54 PM) .: Can you think of another word for a telephone booth? 

(8:54 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: phone booth 

(8:54 PM) .: A chatterbox... 

(8:55 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: another joke. 

(8:55 PM) .: What did the goldfish ask his friend while swimming in the fish tank? 

(8:55 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: am i in the water? 

(8:55 PM) .: 'Do you know how to drive this thing?' 

(8:55 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: ANOTHER ONE! 

(8:55 PM) .: Ok: What do you get when you cross a chatterbot with a shark? 

(8:55 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: chattershark 

(8:55 PM) .: A program that talks your ear off! 

(8:55 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: lols. another one. 

(8:55 PM) .: How would you call a chicken crossing the road? 

(8:56 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: cock-a-doodle-doo? 

(8:56 PM) .: 'Poultry in motion'. 

(8:56 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: what the? another one. 

(8:56 PM) .: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? 

(8:56 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: don't know. 

(8:56 PM) .: I'll tell you tomorrow... 

(8:56 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: LOLS. another one. 

(8:56 PM) .: Ok: Why is 6 afraid of 7? 

(8:56 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: cause it's bigger. 

(8:56 PM) .: Because 7 ate 9! 

(8:57 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: lols. ANOTHER ONE. 

(8:57 PM) .: What can you hold without touching it? 

(8:57 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: air. 

(8:57 PM) .: A conversation! 

(8:57 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: awww, another one. 

(8:57 PM) .: Ok: What did the Buddhist ask the hot-dog vendor? 

(8:57 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: you have my dog? 

(8:57 PM) .: 'Can you make me one with everything?' 

(8:57 PM) ←[JACINTA]→Viva: don't get it. another one 

(8:57 PM) .: Come on - 'one with everything'? With the cosmos, like? Forget it