Saturday, September 22, 2007.
10:51 PM

im thinking:
why am i born.
why did my life change so DRASTICALLY.
from my perfect life in primary school,
to a teenage life in secondary school.
my teenage life's getting very emo.
if u remembered, i was, in overall,
happy in primary school.
apart from the times i cried.
now, i dont cry that much in school.
im crying HARD. from my heart.
im crying more at home.
我不甘心.为什么老天一定要对我这样?
为什么他要这样的玩弄我?
is my life so fun for you to play with?
zz
from a voice, deep from my heart,
i feel like committing suicide.
yet, another voice tells me that
think of the fun.
think of the consequences.
im in a vortex.
in a middle of a crossroad.
i feel like. DYING.
i have no dreams.
im crying in the middle of the night.
no one knows.
though, not really crying.
it's my heart which cries.
i dont feel good.
my problems, no one knows.
i cant spill it out.
not everyone can exactly know how i feel.
the vortex, only allows someone who knows how i feel to go in.
the vortex. it's my heart. the voice. that's shouting at me.
this was what i wanted to tell my mother.


dear mum:

you didnt know how i feel. you werent me. my life is changing like i change clothes everyday. it's very rapid. like MRT. very drastic. i cant adapt to it. it's because, your era wasnt mine. mine was a time, whereby all things are very very very disastrous. one mistake costs you time to mend it back. you didnt know that i was thinking of suicide sometimes. you didnt know that my smiling face was only a mask. a mask to cover all the things you didnt know. you said that i could bare my heart out to you, but i NEVER had a chance to. i wanted to say sorry to you that day, you never gave me a chance to. i also know that you will never see my blog. i know that even no one will care about this. the dam is breaking, and im writing EVERYTHING i dont feel good onto this post. i also know that, "sorry" cant cure.

but, i only still wanted to say this to you. im sorry.

no one knows.




im sad. i need space to shout.
i want freedom.
i want computer.
computer is the only thing that i can forget everything.
but. it is temporary.
it will all come back to me.
grant me my wishes.
i WAS a loudmouth.
now, i only shout when needed.
you wont know.
you never know.
you didnt know.
you didnt want to know.
you didnt give yourself a chance to know.


welcome to my life. it sucks.



Friday, September 21, 2007.
9:41 PM

sighs.
howcome when i need the comp most,
i cant use it?
zz
HOWCOME GOOGLE GIVES CRAPPY INFO?
okay. THEY SUCK.
like my house,
it sucks.
like my life.
it sucks too.
THATS IN OVERALL LAHS.
anyway, im quite happy today, so, i suppose,
today's post shan't be emo.


since i tried coffee,
im hooked.
zz
Nescafe Latte.
anyway, it kept me alert during tuesday's geog lesson.
hohos.
and im really pissed off with this someone
in my class.
zz
SHE shan't be revealed, or, my head's gonna roll downtown.
anyway,
this person is really irritating lah.
and im confused by her.
BUT, ultimately, i hate her and her interests--JAP.
and it's certainly not you, talia, though you like Jap too.
hahas.
but it's another person.
[:
so noisy man.
zz.
i wonder how the person beside her tahans her nonsense.
LOL.
i heard she has a bighead and a bigmouth.


and today afternoon, mr tan had to go for an op.
getwellsoon.
he's really pitiful lahs, having being sick during semester 2
he had erm..food poisoning during term 3,
and now suspected dengue during term 4.
hais.
food poisoning from sashimi.
now he doesnt eat those anymore.
lols.
again, i wish you, GETWELLSOON!
you must be able to come back and teach 108 the noisy class ar.
hahas.


and im really rushing V-Arts.
we cant get pics from the internet.
zz
and i really feel like cheating this part.
ARGH.
and im doing on water leh.
and have to draw like VERYVERY real de lor.
i hope.. EXAMS pass like in a blink of the eye,
and i really mean it.
zz
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

and, i have lots of FORMULAE to memorise.
zz
secondary school, is like shit.

and MR magician SOON nvr become MR WARRIOR SOON TODAY LA!
he gone back on his words.
ZZZZZZZ.
untrustable.


and im so trustable.
i said today's post aint emo.
and it isnt!
HAHAS!



Friday, September 14, 2007.
7:39 PM

ya all know what is LIFE?
life, to me, is about another useless being,
plop to the ground,
and live.
of course, im just another USELESS being.
i HATE ME.
i hate YOU.
i HATE THE world.
99% of ALL THE HUMANS ARE JUST.
PLAIN ASSHOLES.
ok?
plain ASSHOLES.
1% would just be the handful of lucky pple.
FVCKING STUPID.
okay?
UNDERSTAND? the idiot in front of the comp reading
another idiot's BLOG?
and.
ADULTS ARE JUST...
BRAINLESS PEOPLE.
simpson's BRAIN.
SMALL AS PEA.
think, you adults.
U THINK WE HAVE NO FREEDOM?
U THINK WE'RE PEOPLE WITH A LASSO AROUND OUR NECKS?
DO YOU THINK THAT WE'RE AT YOUR BECK AND CALL?
i hate life.
i hate everyone around.
every being is AN asshole.
useless.
ALL OF THEM SUCK.
FUCK.
__
i only wanted PINKDOLPHIN
and i had to ask u, the idiot if i could go down and buy.
THINK.
OTHERS.
they can go TO A SHOOPING CENTER AT WHIM
can i?
CAN I?!
YOU THINK SO?
DIG OUT YOU HEARTS.
AND.
kimberly lim.
YOU THINK YOU ARE USING EYE POWER?
YOU THINK YOUR HOMEWORK IS MINE?
I ALREADY mind HELPING YOU LE.
i gave you face because of darn mother ok,
not because for you.
WHILE I HELP YOU.
YOU WERE EATING AND LAUGHING AWAY.
think.
how would you feel if you were me.
i feel so...stupid to help you.
i feel so betraying to my own BRAIN, to help an idiot like you.
and you forced me to scold you an idiot.
it's so humiliating.
FUCK TO ALL LAHS.
go to hell.
AND TO THE HELL WITH YOU.
zz
don't learn to be like that SEC4 exp pple.
DONT USE EYE POWER.
IT AINT GOOD.
zz.
ok.. enough of scolding.
i wonder if anyone comes to see this blog,
even if i didnt update.


Yesterday
i had the ceramic thingy yesterday.
it was doubly fun man.
unlike in primary school.
PATSYCOLA sucks la.
zz
mr deryk's class was fun, especially with the SLIT.
hahas.
when wanying sends me the photo,
i'll upload it.
[:
but be prepared though,
it's very disgusting.
hahas.
anyway, mr deryk requested us to make a ball.
BALL.
when the halves were joined,
it was DAMN HEAVY LAHS.
zz
but it was like training my weedy muscles.
LOL.
hahas.
UPDATED
SLIT, clay glue.(:



Tuesday, September 4, 2007.
2:48 PM

erm.. zz
i'm getting BORED.
i played maple for the past few days..
i love morning.
pqing in the morning is SOOOO easy to get in,
without worrying for some blooming idiots who are CAMPING inside.
zz
so, in and out, in and out..
LOL
i might just rot la..
LOL.
then there's this blooming idiotic crossbowman.
when i got into the pq,
he said, "36000degrees SUCK!"
erm ya, that's my IGN.
lol.
i played pq ytd as ldr cuz morning nobody,
so it was easy.
this xbowman, he wanted me to give him 3000mesos.
just for a pass.
crazy guy.
zz
i reallyreally wanted to report him luh.
zz
ok nvm..



yesterday was such a bore.
eat, sleep, fart, shit.
and play comp, watch tv and rot too.
zz
LOL..
nth much, so nth to blog.
LOL..
today, is also very boring.
zz
i got scolded just for playing the comp for three hours.
WTF.
go to hell la.
motherfucker.
zz
crazy.
anyway,
to 6/1 people...
i aint going for mdm eva's house cuz
i have remedial..
which suck damn lots, i know..
dun try to persuade me not to go cuz i feel like being watched..
so... till then..
hope there's another meeting then...
(: